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But the Maid," she said with a twinkle in her eye, "is not quite the virginal maiden other peoples tell of. The Maid could be better described as an unmarried, sexually active young woman of c***d-bearing years. But that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? When they made me with their faith, they imagined a young woman like many they knew in their own tribes; blond-haired and blue eyed, small but strong, merry and serious by turns, and with a lusty capacity for sex that would make any man who was lucky enough to win her the envy of his fellows."Of course, they idealized me as well. More beautiful than any woman they had seen; more power than they had, poor, simple things; and with a sex drive that was almost frightening in its intensity." So that is why you ran from me last night," Bill said, understanding now.Polina nodded. "When the Snow Maid rose up inside me, after so many years..." she trailed off and shifted languidly, nipples peaking with arousal, blatantly sensual.. The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called ‘impeckable’ tree almost without breaking a sweat.Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you’re away from home.This one is compliments of Rick M.Things that you should never say to a woman during an argument:10- Don’t you have some laundry to do or something?9- Aww, you are so cute when you get all ticked off.8- You’re just upset because your a****is beginning to spread.7- Wait a minute -- I get it. What time of the month is it?6- You’re sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?5-.
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